lost 'Kiss'

I decided today is the day,i will tell her ,else i will die with lack of sleep and food.
Got out of the bed.Spent additional 30 mins in the bathroom.Dressed up in my favorite(lucky) blue shirt with thin silver stripes.Checked with my closet mirror,it said "you look handsome,Hareesh"

Mom had breakfast on the table.Ignored her and the food.Rushed and kick started my Bajaj Pulsar.
Hooked up the ear phone and browsed my iTunes and played "Hosaana - VinnaiThandi Varuvaya"

Off to work.

Workplace was void of people.Grave silence.Am i so early ?,checked my watch.
Oh my Gracious Lord  its only 8:30.I have never seen my workplace at this time.
Opened up my emails and a stinking one popped up right at my face.
It read"Appraisal Last remainder".Oh boy its appraisal day.I can't write anything,she is filled with in me,her thoughts.If allowed i will write up a beautiful appraisal about her,describing her awesome lovely figure.

She is the most beautiful one i have ever seen.Goddess.

After a very long time checked my watch again it showed 8:55.Thats the most exasperating 20 minutes in my life.Why on earth all the time keeping machine are running slow today.I went to the cafe and grabbed a hot cup of coffee.People started checking in.But not she.

"Dai Hareesh. Good morning".I heard Arun.
"Hi da" i said
"Machaa.I need some help" said arun
"Enna da" i shouted at him
"Can you help me with my appraisal" he replied
I controlled myself so hard and denied to approve my mind,soul and body which decided to 'pour the hot coffee over his ear.'

Ashok came in.He was all tired.
"Enna machi.You coming from gym" asked arun
"Dai adivanguva da" ashok yelled at him
"Machi..ennna achii" arun asked in (Vadivelu) accent.
"Had a running-race with Office bus today da machi" vented out ashok
"Not again" laughed out loud arun
"Dai Hareesh.Why are you looking so tensed.Dont worry Macha we can do appraisal together"
"Dai only thing that i hate most in life is this appraisal da" i replied in a unpleasant tone.

"Ok Arun lets call our onshore chipmunks" and they left the scene

It was 9:40 am.Got deep in to my crappy code that i have been working for a while.
Thats when, I felt the aroma.No need to validate its Divya,i looked over my bay.
Oh-my-god.She was dressed in my favorite one from her collections.The yellow salwar and the hair unleashed,thinnest gold chain encircling her beautiful neck.
Light glossy lipstick,often lipstick on women is considered to be distraction of her whole beauty,but my dear darling divya is an exception to it.She wearing the lipstick and with very limited smile for it puts me out of my normal being.Choosing a color for lips can reveal a women's personality,lipstick is bit like numerology or astrology.Divya was wearing a glossy semi naked one matching the natural color, i conclude she wanted others to consider her as a reserved personality but in real she isn't.

She smiled at people as she walked wishing them all.She walked looking at me and said "Good morning Hareesh",as my heart was rapidly trying to change its place.I was surrounded by musicians playing and singing "Engiruthu vanthayo ni..Adiye Adiye..enna enga ni kooti pora"

I keep asking these questions in the way she verbalizes my name
 -Did she invent it
 -Did my parents consulted her before naming me.

She pulled her chair and switched on her desktop located diagonal to mine.She started to twirl the gold chain slipping/sliding between her lips while the other hand fondling on keyboard.The best part is, at irregular intervals moving her hair that is so adamant of fall on her forehead.I could easily spend a decade watching that scene.

I decided.I will tell her right now.Stood up and went straight to her desk

"Haiyyee Hareesh" she seductively said.It was provocative.Yes she did say that in a seductive voice and anyone looking at her lips that just produced that sound (that may be a wrong statement for medical science student) have no option other than kissing them.
I tried to speak ,my vocal folds worked hard but still there was no sound.(veerum kathuthanga vandhuchu)
"Hey what are you staring at" said she
"Haan..Nothing..shall we dial in to the meeting" stammered me.
"Yeah i am waiting Hareesh" said she adjusting her dupatta.

We went into a conference room dialed in and handed over to Divya. She was explaining our project design to a group on the phone.I watched her lips,watched again.I was deeply lost to see that its alluringly moving in all co-ordinates and i really was not hearing what she saying to our onsite pals.

It was heavenly those lips.

Suddenly she stopped and asked "Haressh do you agree with that" and looked at me.
Her eyes spattered innocence mixed with lust and passion. Oh my god those lips.
At that moment I lost it ,the inner sense of control,i am no more civilized and not a gentleman anymore,my body moved close to her and with no further thoughts i kissed her deep , the lightening moment lasted for 20 seconds i would say 18 to be exact.

Silence.

"Hello Hareesh/Divya you guys there" speaker phone was shouting.She looked at me. I was frightened and shaking.She stood up and left the conference room.

minute after at the coffee shop.
"Macha,epdra,how can you..how this is possible" exclaimed ashok.
"This is case of sexual harassment and if she complains to HR you will be fired and you wont be able to find job anywhere " added arun.I was quiet and infact felt very uncomfortable.

Next Day.

I waited at my desk scared and anxious.This may be my last day as a fish in the Corporate pond.
Divya walked towards her desk.Myself,Arun and Ashok turned around to look at our monitors pretending to be engrossed in work.She came close and said "Good Morning Ashok Arun" and paused added "Good Morning Hareesh" and went to her desk.

"Machan en da oru reactionume ille..ennatha da kiss panna ni..ithella oru kissaa" muttered ashok.Arun giggled.One change i noticed that she did not have that provocative lipstick today.

Even though that gave me some kind of peace i was wondering what going on with-in her now.What happened to My first kiss,did it not create any impact on her,was it lost.
Divya sat on her chair looking at the monitor.

Years passed....

Divya came to work and sat on her chair looked at the monitor, as it was powering up she saw her face in it,and her lips.She smiled to herself and typed a message in her phone
"Hareesh reached work.I love you,have a great day" pressed send
"Hey honey,Great,was wondering how everyday you send this note at the same time :) " was the reply

Women will always continue to remember the first kiss even after men forget the last.

Paradise of Trust Hope and Realness - 3

PreScript :
Please read through previous episodes at Previous Episode
Was listening to Call me dil while scripting

Ed and Shruthi lurched towards her apartment.
Ed said "Now this is the logical end" and added quickly"Stop.stop being mushy mushy.We depart as good friends as agreed 4 years back"
Shruthi dramatically controlling her tears and feebly said "Ed.Can you come in for a cup of tea.Probably a last one"Ed looked in to her eyes.He could sense it satiated with gloominess.
He said "As you wish".

Shruthi went straight up to the kitchen and started up the stove in simmer and tossed a pan of water on to it.Came back to the living room and saw Ed already opening up the Chardonnay.

"I know this would happen so i had one ready in my bag" smiled Ed
Shruthi "Hey i have a flight to board at 6 AM"Ed obliged and added up to the sentimentality with his nice words "One last time"

"Cheers for lovely moments and feelings that we shared for all four years."
Soon they started to get on to the wine forgetting about the pan of water in the stove.

Shruthi had a extra glass breaching her habitué alcohol quota of steadiness and soon was flying off the ground.Ed again opened up a small Scotch that he was carrying and they had it real raw.

They were cuddling each other in a couch and started to kiss each other.
The stove finished its job of heating up the pan in the simmer,now the water started to boil.

Ed aided Shruthi to get off her attire.He for the first time felt her bosomy hip and quickly covered themselves with a blanket.Hot steam egress out of the pan and with in 10 min's the last few drops evaporated with a hissing noise....
After 3 hrs,Ed woke up and left a note and lovely card in Shruthi's handbag.

It was 4 AM in the morning.Shruthi was staring at the Pregnancy tester stick.
Tears rolled out with nobodies request and she read the old note from Ed one time again
"Hey dear, these four years were the wonderful and best days of my life ,you made every moment so precious for me to preserve and  cherish back,you were my best friend ,a well wisher ,philosopher ,inspiration and now leaving you to your wish and will.
Can never forget this night in my life"
-Your Ed

Without further thoughts she called up Ed.
He said "Hello.Hey Shruthi.Never expected a call from you so soon.how are you and Sanjay"
Shruthi wept and explained him the complete situation.
Ed tried to calm her down when she cried "Its not your fault.Its me.Am selfish and out of control.Am not right .."she wept.

Ed  "I have a strong hope its not us.From what you told one your LMP and the phase you were in when it happened between us" he paused and added " was before the fertile period of yours"

Ed in his doctors tone added
"Listen later in  pregnancy blood samples cab be taken from the mother, baby and the man thought to be the baby's biological father can then be tested for DNA fingerprinting and in a large proportion of cases can prove whether Sanjay is definitely the father.It is technically possible for a blood sample to be taken from a baby whilst it is still in the womb."
He paused  for while, both remained silent  and he added
"But I really doubt that doctors in India would agree to take such a blood sample for you, knowing that the result may cause you to terminate the pregnancy even though the baby may be normal and healthy. Nevertheless, I hope and believe its not us" 
"You hope."she smiled and paused and added "This is head-spinning.I cannot handle this anymore.I need to rest for sometime and think about this.Will call you later" she hung up and was severely confused.She felt terrible with her situation.She was angry on herself.

She perched herself on the bed for a while.She thought that she cannot to do this alone she needs someone by her side.After a lot of thought process decided to call Sanjay and dialed his number quickly.He did not pick up.She tried again but in vain.She cried out louder inside her bathroom walls.

"Hey Shruthi are you alrite" checked her Father as he felt someone screaming.
She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror and managed to reply in a clear voice "Dad.Am fine just not able to sleep"

Washed up and came out of the bathroom saw her father sitting in the couch.
"Hey Shruthi.Want some coffee" asked her Dad.
"Haan Ya dad .And also am going out for walk in the beach"
"If that makes you better " said her father

She tried to call up Sanjay again for one last time,he picked up.

"Hey Sanjay.Need to talk to you its important"
He replied "Shurthi is everything alrite.Sorry was tired and i was.."
Shruthi interrupted and said "Sanjay.Looks like am pregnant"
Sanjay smiled to himself but reacted and acted "Are you sure"
She said "We need to check with hospital and do something straightaway"
He said "Hon.Am not sure what to do.Still its only, two months for the marriage.Why do you panic.You know about me and i am.."
She interrupted and said "Stop the bullshit.Will meet you at the hospital 9 AM"

Shruthi was on her way to the hospital as her auto rickshaw stopped for while to fill in the fuel tank.
She called up Sanjay but his phone was busy for the past 20 mins.She was too nervous and called up Ed.Again in vain.
She quickly sent an SMS to Ed "Thought about it and i cannot take a chance :(.Am going to hospital.Will call you later."

Shruthi got out of the auto rickshaw and started to walk towards the hospital.Sanjay was standing near the hospital reception.

She yelled at him "Who were you've been calling when you know i will be calling you back."
A voice interrupted and said "He was talking to me da" and Shruthi turned and looked back to see her dad standing.She looked at Sanjay and that look in her eyes sympathized the exact words "Why did you do this to me" .
Silence.She couldn't control and with a outburst embraced her dad.
Sanjay said "Shruthi,pls understand.Trust me this will pass"

still to continue...Next Episode

Paradise of Trust Hope and Realness - 1

Shruthi handed over one her last invitation to Gaurav and said
"Please come and grace the occasion"
It was 5 PM.She knows its time to leave work place one last time.
Kevin got off a long meeting and came out
"Ok guys lets jump in to CR08 conference room"

People gathered.A white iced and sugary rose topped cake was waiting for Shruthi.
The whole team gathered in.
Pat came in and everybody stood up ,rustles over the room.Pat is the overall manager of the implementation team for FedEx in Manchester.Few words that would best describe him - compulsive, determined, single, moody.It was a surprise when he came in for the send off party of Shruthi,which generally is not few of his can do list.

Shruthi - South Indian born and living in UK for the past 10 years She did her masters in London universtiy.
And working with Fed Ex as a Team lead for the past 7 years.After repeated compulsion from her family back home she is bound to get married to Sanjay.
She had been a committed resource and a dependable friend.Most of the time displays serenity and calmness.Its indeed a impossible effort to figure what she is up to in her thoughts.A very first look of her would attract resplendent peace in your hearts.Her smile would make you sigh with contentment.

Sanjay - Average India born male.Good looking and has a good sense of humor that keeps him advantageous among friends circle.Has a younger brother.Works as a Production Manager in a renowned Automobile company branched out in Chennai,India.Not much in to romancing or date out with girls.Has a very average academic records.Its been a while his parents started to look out for bride.He is jaunting in his own pace in cloud nine for the past few days after getting engaged with Shruthi.

Pat said "Shruthi ,you have been a valuable and committed resource that the team will be missing.All the best"Before the claps fade out he vanished the scene.Every one spoke few lines about Shruthi.It was 5:30 PM
With a heavy heart she stepped out of the work place and headed to the tube station.She has been comuting this tube line for the past 7 yrs.

Mobile alerted - "Dad" calling.
she picked and said "Dad did you not sleep.Is everythign alrite"
Dad replied "Am good da.Wanted to check if its all set for your travel."

Shruthi's Dad - The truest,most sincere gentleman.As to any girl, he is a hero for Shruthi as well.Life had dealt him some rough,challenging cards,yet that has not reduced his character at all. As said any one can make a child but it takes a man to be a father.

After exact 20 min's she got out of Heaton park.
Ed was waiting there for her.She rushed towards him.Stood there ,tears rolled on her lovely eyes.She wept and whole world would want to console her when she cries.Her weeping is also beautiful

Ed - Born in Britan.Young physical therapist.Life would seem much simple and easy if you are with him for sometime.Highly practical and fun to be with.He has been a very good friend and well wisher for Shruthi for past 4 years.Ed said "Hey ,we know this would happen one day and that is no later than today"
She hugged him.Ed held her.After coffee,dinner and a lovely walk along the water front ,they departed.

Its 6 AM the next day morning.
Shruthi boarded the Middle East bound aircraft.And the flight was ready for taxing.
They were de-icing the flight.Anti-ice fluid splashed on the window.
She was watching it through the window and lapsed herself on to the lovely thoughts of Ed.

She was watching outside the window it was mizzling
Its been 40 min's and its a second coffee that she ordered.Was waiting to pounce on Ed
Ed came rushing down the bus.
"Dai evalo neram da wait panrathu"
"Mam.Am sorry.I know u get Tamil words when you are damn angry.Please am sorry.Please forgive me this time as you did for the past 786 times"
She said "Its been 1 hr dude.And did not inform Pat about this.Just sneaked out.Ohh my god.why am i doing this"
Its her nature and Ed knows this.She cant even act angry for more than 2 min's.
Ed smiled at her.She smiled back instant and tried hard to keep a mad face "No am supposed to be angry"
"Common you can even do that in your wildest dreams..mmm..what do you think i can do to make it up" said Ed.
She blushed.
Ed looked at her.His eyes powered and manful.And in no time kissed her lips.Before she could react and resist kissed her hard and stepped back.
"What are you doing" she stuttered and left the place.Boarded a bus and sat near the window.Rain started to intense outside.She smiled to herself ,her mobile alerted it read "Ed" calling.She knows he will call to make it up.

Mobile sounded and ceased her out of the dream.
It read "Sanjay" calling.
She picked it up "Hello"
Sanjay voiced "Hey SH..how are you..did you board the flight"
Shruthi said "Yeah. yeah its about to take off.How are you.Sorry couldn't email you" stameeringly she continued "and what is SH.."
Sanjay was telling something that she could'nt hear as the flight radio dominated
"At this time, we request that all mobile phones, pagers, radios and remote controlled toys be turned off for the full duration of the flight, as these items might interfere with the navigational and communication equipment on this aircraft"

still to continue ....Next Episode

Rain Again

Somewhere near the Mediterranean.....

Wiper was swishing.And the sound of it from within the car tempted me for a smoke.
Drifted side line on to the exit of the freeway and slowly bumping along the little puddled instances that had their existence from nowhere.

I got down the car, there was moisture in the air.The smell was instantly reminiscent. The ground was wet, the air cool and crisp like fall. For a moment, I simply stood and breathed in the smell of something other than dirty, dusty air.

It was drizzling.Constant pouring and streamed steadily everywhere.
Lit my cigar and inhaled it ,few micro droplets splashed on my face.Wiped it off that's when i saw her getting out of the car, plain blue saree and a hair held by a band that is almost invisible and a little pony tail came out of it.

Rain doesn't know apart good or bad.It was subduing the show.Dowsed her with in minutes remorselessly.It did not know what an impact that created in to me.She instead of taking cover stood there in the middle feeling the rain from within her.Started to drench more.

I sipped my coffee and one more puff and was watching her.She started to kick the puddles with her lovely feat with the anklet on.Every puddle that she missed felt affronted of their beingness.Dramatic it wa,s as the rain started to intense to make it more worse for me.For the first time I saw how lubricious rain can be when it drenches a woman and when it soaks a woman in saree.

Splashing her forehead and running down her lips at when she tried to get the water in her mouth and sending it out without swallowing, at the same time her eye lids semi-closing to protect her eyes from the water.Every natural instincts in her body that tired to resist the water droplets were losing and the rain was the winner.It brought out her body line and i defined it to be a smooth line containing no straight portions and no sharp angle.

Took out the hair band and freed her hair.A sight time sliced with a rotation around her and the rain drops still in their places.

Opps i dint knew that my cigar fire breached the filter and burnt my finger.I was back to normal when she got back in the car.I rushed to the car and started back on to the freeway.But the thought of the beautiful site kept bothering me and alerted on bringing my virility out of me.

I couldn't see anything except water through the windshield.White smoky it was. Couldn't drive with low visibility and high burning desire within me.Parked it along the road side.

Opened up the moon roof.Let the rain flow in the car.Drenched my lips and held over hers.
Yes she is none other than my wife Aishwarya.

That kiss - A deep passionate one after a very long time between us.
It intensified and assisted.Lightening and thunderous.I relieved her off the blue saree and let the rain and me succeed her completely together.She and the rain succumbed in myself  and soaked me most replete.The hot as it gets the mighty droplets tried to chill it away.

After a crashing 40 min's we were back driving.Drizzling and chilly the air was.
Aishwarya smiled to herself several times.
Silence we maintained and the freeway was deserted with water flowing everywhere.Fiddled my hands to switch on the audio and it randomly picked and played "Pannivizhum Iravu ......." SoundCloud-Pannivizhumiravu

Post Script :
Earlier in 2006 penned down a post called Rain
More or less its been 6 years and wanted to try out a similar one.A checkpoint on my romantic intellects.

Betrayal can never be BURIED

Darkness. Silence.

After a long sound of wood, we hear a movement of a person, confined and contained.
We then hear the sound of a man,Nikhil, groaning, making confused attempts at words.
We hear his movement short, abrupt shifting, ending almost immediately with the sound of his body banging against wood.

He screams, and it's clear from the sound that his mouth is covered by something.After attempting to sit up, he immediately bangs his head against something.It's terribly warm and his breaths are labored.

He attempts to move to his left and right, only to find that he is confined on those sides, as well. He frantically shifts about, only to discover, by touch, that he is encased in something.Something is very wrong,and he doesn't need to see to know that.

He shouts "Oh my God! Help me!! Help me!!".

After several tries and attempts he settles down.
The last thing that he could retrieve was the affright face of his adorable wife Saarika.When she came escaping towards him tracked by his own close friend Dina

He held Saarika by his arm and said "Dai.enna panra".
Before he could speak up further a heavy thump sound ,he was stabbed hard back in his head

"Oh my god where am i"..he manages to reach his cigar lighter and flicks it.
We see that he is lying in an old fashioned, wooden coffin.

Nothing more than a few rotted-out planks of wood nailed together. Realizing the same, and is struck by an overwhelming, instant panic.With great difficulty, and while still holding the lighter,

Nikhil removes the muzzle from his mouth.He screams aloud, but his voice is captured by the coffin walls.
The thought that Saarika in Dina's hands nabbed him out of the coffin and he struggled hard in the sand grains to get out his face to the surface.

Execution flaws:
-Stab in his head is not hard enought to kill him
-Lack of mental state to anatomize if he is yet dead
-Lack of skill and experience to dig a grave that is alteast 10 feet deep and packed back with hard sand.Nikhil with his bare foot bled towards the beach house, the place where the scene he last remembered occured.He tried open the front door.It was locked.

He cried out loud "Saarika.. "
Went around the house.He could hear Dina talking.Panting he climbed the plumbing works and glanced in to the slide window.

Saarika was fetchingly resting in Dina's arm at her best attire, the blue salwar.He remembered sometime back Dina saying "Nik.Saarika antha blue salwarla...she is gorgeous man.You are a lucky chap"Soon he saw them kissing and Nik let his hands go off the pipage and had a short fall.His mind gestated "Insane desire, lustfulness and hastiness made them not even worth to complete murder"

Nik was cool, he knew that this can handled to perfection.No trust No hurriedness.Slowly he started walking.The sidewalks crowded as usual.A sea of humanity.People come and go always in a hurry.Oblivious of one another, complete with a cacophony of sound.

Straight he went in to phone booth closed the door and pulled up a number from the directory and dialed....

No one but i could hear "Hi,how soon can i get two wooden coffins for a demise that just occurred"

PS : Provoked by http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1462758/